…And the sea, men…. Hello dear readers! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa and whatever you’re supposed to say Scientologists, hope you escape before the new year? Sorry it’s been so long but [insert excuse] and [insert something vapid about missing it], now that’s all done let’s move on. Today’s lesson is all about age,… Read More The Geriatric…
…A tale of two jobs… Hello dear readers! I’ll be getting oxymoronic this week by writing about oral sex, talk is cheap but not when it’s muffled by thighs. Today’s lesson will focus on the etiquette of ‘dining out’ or this case, one guy’s lack thereof. Brace yourselves for a story of deception, consternation and one thoroughly… Read More To Spit or Not to Spit?
…A public service announcement about the perils of dating three people at once… Hello dear readers, I’ve not felt that great this week. Every once in a while things get a little emotional here at SSM. If you’re much more interested in dicks and awkward sex then I recommend giving this one a miss. Still here?… Read More What Makes You So Special?
…And a Bazillion reasons to enjoy them (a pun you will only understand after reading this)… Hello dear readers! I may not be on time but I’m not as tardy as usual, I’m consistently inconsistent. My absence has mostly been work-related, saying that we’re experiencing a staff drought would be like describing Kim Jong Un as… Read More Ten Tips to Survive a One-Night Stand…
….And the spider… Hello dear readers! Firstly thanks for being so patient guys, my posting has been less reliable than a prostitute’s periods these last two months. I’m shacked up in sunny Spain for two weeks so hopefully I’ll wake up between the sangria blackouts and write. Sorry again but hold onto the thought of poor… Read More Mr Massive Dick…
…And the gargantuan dick… Hello dear readers! I was so close to a perfect month of posting! Well just like sex, it’s how you finish not how you start that counts. I’ve had a writing sabbatical of sorts and ignored this blog for the last month, I just needed a little break from the self-analysis. Luckily… Read More The Week I Said Yes…
…Get out your personality pickaxes, we’re going introspectin’… Hello dear readers! This week we’ll be traversing the waves of shitty dating behaviours. With Axe body spray billowing in the sails of my polo-necked t-shirt, it’s time to ask myself, am I a bad guy? First things first, what actually is a fuckboy? Younger readers will hopefully understand,… Read More Am I a Fuckboy?
…I was amazingly restless… Hello dear readers! Right, let’s get the apologies out the way first. Sorry I left you for so long, I’ve been very busy, my dog broke down, a third made-up excuse. Good that’s all done, on to business or should I say the lack of business this week. As you may glean from the… Read More Ten Things I Learnt From Not Masturbating for Ten Days…
…And the night of a thousand limbs… Bonjour mes amis! Yes I’ve gone continental, after my sojourn in Butlins (hell on earth) a strong Bordeaux red was in order. I’ve swapped gin for pastis, a drink exclusively enjoyed by the semi-fossilised, and my diet for baguettes. The holiday may have been planned but words can’t express… Read More The Physics of Threesomes…
So Many Mistakes 